Years ago in 2002, I had walked back - and forth to the SD Budi Mulia Bogor. Our eldest child is named Dika, sitting in fourth grade in elementary school that. At that time I really had to deal with the homeroom teacher and principal. The reason according to the homeroom teacher observations and school principals, Dika who sat in the class, where penggemblengan child - the child's achievement, when it was actually recorded as a troubled child.
When I asked what the problem Dika, teachers and principals to ask precisely what happened at home, so that the child is always depressed and spent most of his time studying in the classroom just to daydream. Declined more and more achievements.
I gently ask Dika "What do you want?".
Dika just shook his head.
"You want the mother to be like?" I asked.
"Mediocre" Dika replied curtly.
Several times, I discussed with the guardian class and the school principal to find solutions, but has been a long time there was no progress. Finally, we also agreed to ask the help of a psychologist.
One morning, the principal's permission, Dika left school to undergo an IQ test. Without any preparation, Dika solving the problem by problem in a matter of minutes. A few moments later, the psychologist who appears humble but full of friendliness was immediately notify the test results. Figures intelligence - average my child reaches 147 (Very Smart) where the score for the aspect - an aspect of the understanding of space, abstraction, language, science, reasoning, accuracy and speed average of about 140-160. There is one oddity, that the scores for verbal ability no more than 115 (- Average Smart). The contrast at two different levels of intelligence that's according to psychologists, need to do further deepening. The psychologist, therefore politely advised me to drive back to the place Dika another week. According to Dika need to undergo a personality test.
One afternoon, I took Dika drove back through a series of personality tests. Through interviews and written tests are conducted, it has attracted at least Psychologist thread that he thought to be one or several inhibiting factors Dika verbal ability. At least I can read the screams of small hearts
Dika. An honest answer from the deepest heart Dika it makes me look in the mirror himself, saw the face of a mother who is still far from ideal.
When the psychologist wrote the question "I want my mother :...."
-Dika replied: "Let me play as I please, for a moment."
With the deepening of some questions, it was revealed that so far I am less Dika provide opportunity for free play. At that time I think that a lot of variety of games - educational games that I feel the need to schedule when to draw, at any time to play the puzzle, when it's time to play basketball, when it's time to read story books, when it's time to play games on the computer and so forth.
At that time I thought that for good and for her future, Dika need to enjoy the game - the game evenly between - during his spare time who did stay a little because most had been spent on schools and attended various courses outside of school. I have always been a headache thinking about the schedule of activities is so complicated Dika. But it was just a simple request Dika:
given the freedom to play his heart's content, enjoy childhood - childhood.
When psychologist handed a paper saying "I wish my father ..."
Dikapun answered with the messy sentence but think - think it means "I wanted my father to do anything like he's suing me to do something."
Through deepening of some questions was revealed that Dika not want to be taught or told to, let alone commanded to do this and that. He just wanted to see her father do anything every day, like what they're told to Dika. Dika
wanted her father to wake up in the morning - the morning then clearing his own bed, eat and drink without having to serve other people, watch TV in moderation, straightening himself out of newspaper reading and sleeping on time. Indeed simple, but things - things like that just difficult for most parents.
When the psychologist asked the question "I want my mother does not ..."
So Dika replied "think like him."
In many ways I feel that my life experience who likes to work hard,
disciplined, efficient, persevering to achieve something that I want it is the best attitude and wise. Almost - I want to make Dika almost exactly like me. I and many other elderly people sometimes want to make the child as a photo copy of ourselves or even assume that children are adults in the form of small sachets.
When psychologists provide the question "I want my father does not: ..."
Dikapun answered "No blame me in front of others. Not to say that the mistake - small mistakes I made was a sin."
Without realizing it, parents often require children to always behave and act properly, until almost - almost never gives him a place to make mistakes. If parents think that every mistake is a sin that should be rewarded with a penalty, then anakpun will choose to lie and not admit he made mistakes with honest. New difficulty will arise because parents do not know what mistakes have been made of children, so that no
know what action we should do to prevent or stop it.
I became aware that there are times when the child - the child should be given opportunities to do wrong, then he himself could learn from his mistakes. The consequences of the wrong attitudes and actions can sometimes be a valuable lesson so that in time - next time do not make similar mistakes.
When the psychologist wrote "I want my mother talking about ....."
Dikapun said "Talking about it - the important thing only." I was quite surprised because I was just using a very narrow opportunity, on returning from the office to discuss things - things that I thought important, such as asking the lessons and homework given by teachers. But apparently things - things which I think is important, not something important for my child.
With answers to the plain and honest Dika I dingatkan that intelligence is nothing more important than the wisdom and knowledge of God. Teaching about the love of no less importance to science.
To the question "I want my dad to talk about .....",
Dikapun write "I want my dad to talk about mistakes - mistakes. I wish my dad did not always feel right, the most powerful and never do wrong. I want my father to admit his mistake and apologize to me."
Indeed in many cases, parents do right but as people, parents did not escape from their mistakes. Dika desire a simple truth, that her parents wanted a sport, willing to admit kesalahnya and if necessary to apologize for his mistakes, like what parents taught him.
When the psychologist offered the words "I want my mother every day ........".
Dika thought for a moment, then drew his pen with the current "I wish my mom a kiss and hug me tight - tight as he kissed and hugged my brother."
Indeed I sometimes think that Dika almost as tall as I was not worth more hug - hug, let alone kiss - a kiss. I was wrong, love a warm hug and a kiss of a mother and equipment required for the day - the day felt more beautiful. At that time I did not realize that parents who do not treat the same to
children - his son frequently by the child - the child is translated as an act of unfair or preferential treatment.
A piece of paper containing the question "I want my dad every day ....."
Dika write a word just above the point - a point with one word "smile". Indeed simple, but often a father felt the need to hold back his smile for the sake of maintaining authority. In reality a father slightest sincere smile will not wear off the authority, and instead may add sympathy and energy to the child - the child in doing things like what he saw from his father every day.
When psychologists provide a paper that reads "I want my mother called me ...."
Dikapun write "I want my mother called me with a good name."
I flinched at all! Indeed before he was born we have chosen a most excellent and full of meaning, namely Judith Kurniawan Eucharist. But alas, without realizing it, I always called him by name or Le Nang. Nang in the Java language is taken from the word "Lanang" meaning male - male. While Le of the word "Tole", short for the word "Kontole" meaning male genitals - male.
That time I felt that the call is reasonable - reasonable, because it is something common among people in Java.
When psychologist handed writing that reads "I want my dad to call me .."
Dika just write two words, namely "Real Name". All this time my husband was called Dika called "Paijo" for a day - the day Dika spoke in Bahasa Indonesian or Bahasa Sunda Javanese accent porous. "Just Paijo, carpenters vegetables around" my husband said.
Top answers - answers Dika innocent and honest, I was ashamed because I had been working at an institution to defend and fight for the rights - the rights of children. Campaign to many people I respect the importance of rights - the rights of children in accordance with the Convention on the Rights - Rights of the Child World. To the general public I shared a poster that read "To Respect Child Rights is an Obligation, not a choise", a call which warns that "Respect for Rights of the Child is a liability, not
Options'. Without me knowing it, I have violated my rights because the child had called him with calls that do not respect and dignity.
In the silence of the child, the innocent smile of a child and the child's behavior that makes Busway parents sometimes - sometimes proud and sometimes - sometimes annoyed, there were many unspoken messages. I wish all the father loves his sons - then none of the children were disappointed or angry with her father. Children - children must be taught to respect my father and mother, but the fathers (parents) should not arouse anger in the hearts of children - her son.
The father must educate their children in the teachings and advice of GOD Almighty.
To welcome the National Children's Day Celebration Date July 23, 2005, I want to remind parents to always think, behave and do things - things that GOD Almighty desired.